My indelible mark happen when I was 9 years old, my dad took me aside and told me I was fat. I remember it slicing through me, and it opened my mind in a way it should not have been opened. Up until that point, I didn’t know there was anything wrong with me. I had no idea, I was fat. The truth was, I wasn’t fat, I was starting to gain weight, and this was my father’s attempt at helping me.
This was the same father, who I had no relationship with at this point. We started out great, I was daddy’s little girl, followed him everywhere, looked forward to seeing him. Until I was about 4 years old and I witnessed my first incidence of domestic violence. From that point on, I was terrified of my father; he had robbed me of the ability to feel safe at home. And then at a tender age of 9, I decided to believe him and I manifested what he saw in me. Our beliefs always manifest in our lives, and overtime I became morbidly obese.
The weight I carried became my escape goat for everything in life. If the boy didn’t like me “I was too fat”, if I didn’t get the job “I was too fat”. It was the answer to every letdown, rejection and missed opportunity. I couldn’t ever be a success “I was too fat”.
It took me a couple of decades to unlearn what my father taught me that day. For him, it was a moment in time, with good intentions. I took that statement and I ran with it for years, I created my self-image and changed my self-worth in that moment.
The truth is, nothing from the outside could ever hurt the REAL me. We are all just wounded people, bumping up against each other. Projecting our fears, and our judgments on each other.
To quote Emmet Fox “Many people waste their lives in thinking how they are being hurt, damaged, or injured by other people; how good they could be, what marvelous things they could do, if it were not for others. So long as you believe that, you cannot progress. As soon as you know that nobody can hurt you, then you are free to overtake any mistakes, and to be and do the thing you want.”
Go back in time and find your indelible marks, forgive, and set yourself and anyone else free. Come to realize we are all projecting our fears and judgements on each other.